This year…

I’d like to…

Start knitting. Again. If you can count my stint in elementary school and junior high. I love sewing, but they’re not the kind of projects you can start and stop and start and stop. Knitting, however, seems like you could just pick it up after dinner for a long time and eventually have something pretty that you’ve made. I can’t help it. I have the crafting gene and I feel so much better when I’m making something. In a perfect world I’d have a stocking or two made by the time next Christmas is here. I think that’s a reasonable goal, don’t you?

Those emails from Purl srsly kill me. And we have a great knitting shop in Santa Monica where I’m sure I can spend all sorts of money on beautiful yarns.

Not work when I’m not supposed to be working. Part of this will be facilitated by moving my office out of the living room and into our freshly remodeled garage, which is like more exciting than I can express. Having your email up on a giant computer in the main room of the house does not make for focused playtime with your darling son in the evenings. And part of this will just be letting go of things that aren’t finished for a few hours before he goes to bed. It’s FINE for things and people to wait. Fine.

Plant fava beans. This needs to happen stat. I think I’m going to clear the beds this weekend and go for it.

Make real meals and eat at the table. We are in a nasty pattern of eating on the sofa whilst watching movies and other more embarrassing things on TV. I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this on the internet. Maybe it will help me actually motivate to change? We’re lax because Dashiell is in bed by the time we eat (except on the weekends) so I don’t feel guilty about setting bad examples for him. But I DO feel guilty about perpetuating bad habits for us.

Clean out my wardrobe, for reals. I have sooo many things that I haven’t worn since I was pregnant with Dashiell. It’s been over two years (counting the pregnancy), I’ve made it back down to my normal size, and I still haven’t worn so many things. Time for a major purge. Those mini dresses… they might not ever see the light of day again, sadly.

Digitize our music library. As much as I resist complete takeover by technology at times, it’s time to convert. We don’t listen to most of our music because it’s on CD and who wants to go rifling through CDs when you could just play what you have on your iPhone? My parents gave us a new fancy receiver for Christmas that lets you connect wirelessly to any computer in the house and play music from iTunes. Plus it means that we won’t have to keep a place for all those CDs in the house. I love less stuff.

MAKE DASHIELL’S BABY BOOK. This should really be number one. The poor child is going to think we didn’t care about his arrival on this planet. I have like 300 photos ready to print and another 8 months of his life that I still need to go through in my iPhoto. I swear I will never forgive myself if I let this slide.

Plus the normal feel good intentions that so many of you have been posting about. I love all of those too, but this list is practical. And do-able? I need tangible things to accomplish sometimes. We’ll see.

Hat image from The Purl Bee, fava image from What Katie Ate.

labels: musings 13 comments

That time of year

Oh, hello! Major apologies for lack of posting. It’s a crazy time of year, as you all know, and I’ve been trying to make it as un-crazy as possible. Which means some things have to be put on hold, one of which happens to be the internet. I’m at my computer all day doing work and after dinner I just DON’T want to be there anymore. At least right now.

I think I’m in the middle of internet fatigue. There are sooooo many cute ideas and photos and blogs and shops and things that it’s becoming overwhelming and instead of trying to manage all of that in my brain, I’ve sort of just checked out. BUT Christmas is nearly here! It’s usually such an ideal time to be showing fun projects and recipes and things! Alas this year I’m bowing out. But I did want to check in and say HI I MISS YOU ALL AND THIS BLOG, and share a few things going on around these parts before the big weekend is here.

Persimmon pudding and English Toffee have already been made and eaten and made and eaten again. The tree is up, ornaments have been broken more times than I care to admit. Presents are being wrapped. Chickens and gardens and being neglected. Parties have been attended (thankfully we’re done with those. OMG. 5 last weekend alone). Cards still need to be addressed, more presents need to be wrapped… and purchased. Bags need to be packed. Tamales need to be ordered. Salsa needs to be made. Photos need to be printed. I have so many lists going, I’m not even sure where to start.

Here are some nice things I’ve come across so far this year in my shopping:

Hay neon tea towels, from A+R in Venice.
Muji silicone ice ball maker (for perfect Manhattans)
Lovi birch cards that turn into ornaments.
Organic farro in bulk from Bluebird Grain Farms.
Foodzie marketplace and artisan food monthly subscription baskets.
A shiny reversible clutch.

And some non-gifty things that I’ve loved over the last few months:

These birth photos from Brooke Schwab. I think I might need them for myself.
Cooking from Heidi’s new-ish cookbook.
Making pizzas from Blake’s dough once a week. (I love storing it in the freezer!)
Farm Made. Looks intriguing, right?

So much going on with work and family and new, ahem, projects for next year. I’m hoping to be back to posting soon. Maybe I just need a break from EVERYTHING over Christmas for a while. Or maybe I just needed to post once so I can get back in the swing of things.

Hope you’re all doing well and being festive and merry and all of that.

labels: holidays + celebrations, musings 10 comments

Farewell to a visionary

I know there will be many many people posting about this today, but I felt like I had to pay tribute to Steve Jobs myself.

My family has owned every iteration of Apple computer since the birth of Apple computers. The Apple IIE, the first Macintosh, (that looked like a little robot), the first powerbook, the first iMac… I don’t need to go on and on. It’s just to say that Apples have been part of our lives since I can remember computers. I’m the daughter of one of the original die-hard Apple enthusiasts.

Part of that loyalty we feel towards Apple is their amazing, innovative, beautiful products. As one spoof from the Onion says, “I’ll buy anything if it’s shiny and made by Apple.” Which isn’t really too far from the truth. But it’s not just the products. It’s the soul of the company built by Steve Jobs that really makes us feel so connected to the brand. His presence on the earth was inspiring, and not just because of his pretty products. Because he was a brilliant, passionate, creative member of society that took a major innovation of our time and made it infinitely better.

If you haven’t read the commencement speech he gave at Stanford in 2005, I strongly recommend it. It’s one of the most inspiring orations one could possibly give to a new crop of young people heading off into the world to make their way. I cried a little the first time I read it. And I’ve since referred back to it many times in my mind. See, his genius extended beyond computers. He was thoughtful and soulful and enthusiastic and truly appeared to live an inspired life.

The tragedy is that he didn’t end up living those decades he mentioned in his speech. And for that I’m so sorry for him, for his family, and for all of us who have been motivated and inspired by his achievements for the last 30 years. It’s a sad day knowing that one of the greatest innovators of our time is gone.

labels: musings 5 comments

Hank + Lucy guest post

Hi hi! Totally forgot to post a link to my guest post on Hank + Lucy last Thursday. I was traveling that day so wasn’t able to do it then, and am just remembering this morning. It’s a little ramble on one of the many unexpected and very delicious surprises that come with being a mother for the first time. Enjoy!

Photograph by Deb Schwedhelm

labels: baby + kids, musings 6 comments

something helpful

Last night, whilst scanning the internet for pretty things and good ideas and recipes and other people’s lives and blablablablah, I came across the blog Small Notebook. Do any of you read it? Somehow I’ve missed it in all these years of interneting. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but it sort of stopped me in my tracks.

It’s so, I don’t know, helpful.

It’s the opposite of most other blogs I read (as my brother calls them, the “I’m so awesome” blogs… of which mine is not an exception). You know, where people post all the nice, pretty things going on in their perfectly styled, always delicious, very fashionable lives. I love those blogs, I do. But sometimes they just seem so unfairly aspirational. I find myself thinking that everyone else’s life is clearly more together than my own, that they have nicer houses, newer shoes, better taste, etc etc etc. Which is pretty obviously my issue, not theirs. But it was so refreshing to find a blog that just talked about little parts of life that everyone goes through that are not pretty and styled and decorated. And that might in some way help people who read it to similarly simplify their lives. To maybe give people permission to, like, clean out their closet and only wear the few things they love over and over again. How to focus your hobbies and let go of the ones you don’t need (probably not going to happen for me, being the compulsive projecter and hobbiest that I am, but I love the idea), and gulp, how to quit caffeine. Plus lots lots more.

Have you noticed a recurring theme of late? Maybe it’s just in my mind and not on my blog. I’m desperate to simplify our life. I really am. I have a constant nagging feeling that I just want less stuff! But the next moment I’ll find myself madly adding things to my cart on JCrew’s final sale because I get an EXTRA 20% OFF my purchase and I desperately need new clothes that are in style. Gaaahhhhd.

So see when I found Small Notebook, it was like… oh. See, there. Maybe it is possible. Maybe there is life beyond Pintrest and spring fashion. I actually got a little teary thinking about it. And I haven’t even begun to really read through her archives, but I do love the ideas I’ve come upon so far.

I think I should start by NOT ending my day on the computer. There’s only one thing that comes from it and it’s a restless night of sleep. I don’t need to cataloging the internet in my mind when I should be sleeping and I most certainly do not need to miss out on any more sleep. So maybe I will start there and see how it goes. And have a giant garage sale, soon.

And for the record, because I get a fair share of emails and comments asking how I find the time to do it all… here’s a little secret. I don’t. I just only take pictures of the things in my life that are pretty and possibly interesting to other people. But there is plenty that goes undone, plenty of I wishes and if onlys. Maybe I will start to write about that stuff more, just to be fair.

You know what I’m sayin’? Something to think about at least.

labels: musings 45 comments

Yesterday’s internal dialogue

Some days just never seem to get going, you know? And often it’s no one’s fault but mine, as evidenced by this little vignette.

Wake and miraculously remember that Dashiell has a doctor’s appointment as I lay in bed listening to him babble in his crib at 6:15. Close one!

Scrap plans to take him running in the BOB (using the doctor’s appointment as an excuse because I really hate motivating to do that anyway when Brock is out of town, as he was yesterday.)

Get to doctor’s office early (miraculous!) but then we are forced to wait for 30 minutes anyway.

Get home at 10. Nanny is at home, waiting for us. Yay!

Now, I will settle in to work.

It’s going to be a really productive day.

First check email. Maybe a little light internet surfing, etc.

Decide I must shower before I can work. I didn’t go running, but at least a shower will make me feel ready for the day.

Shower, dress, and sit down at computer to work.

Decide I need a latte before I can REALLY get going. More caffeine!

Quickly drive to Peets for latte.

Return home and sit back down at computer.

Computer would be WAY faster if I restarted.

Oop! Forgot to make Dashiell his lunch for the park. Will make lunch quickly.

Oooooh. There are software updates! Computer would run better with updates. Will install and restart computer again.

Argg. I need a new computer soooo bad. Photoshop takes for-ever to start.

In the meantime I will check email. And maybe look up new computers on the Apple Store. I wonder if anyone has posted any good pictures on facebook?

Oooh an email!

Hmmm. I should eat something before I get going otherwise I will start working and then I will have to stop for nourishment, which will totally disrupt my groove.

What should I make? Pirate’s Booty is not considered breakfast. Wait, lunch.

Poached eggs! Yes! I have new english muffins from Traders! They will be perfect with poached eggs.

You know, I should just eat at the kitchen table. I don’t need to eat at my computer.

New Martha Weddings is kind of cute. Forgot I bought that. Maybe we should have registered for china? Would be so pretty for dinner parties. If we ever get a dining room.

Now I am properly prepared to work.

Wait, I should start a podcast. Score! Two new TALs.

ETC ETC ETC.

And then it actually turned into a surprisingly productive day. But I mean COME ON with how long it takes to get going! These are the days I kind of sort of a teeny bit wish I didn’t work at home. At least I took a photo of my lunch. See? I got a blog post out of my day! Is something.

labels: musings 19 comments

Another baby

Not pregnant. But, you know, pondering… as in when is the right time for a second? It seems like babies and bellies are everywhere right now and I can’t help start to feel like I might want to give it another go. Jamie, Celia, Melanie, Alyson, Alexis, Bridget, a number of you lovely readers, plus a bunch of other ladies I know who *gasp* DON’T HAVE BLOGS. (Imagine!)

But here’s the thing. It’s just so much easier now. We’re all sort of accustomed to our rhythm and getting enough sleep (ish) and I love that we have so much time to focus on Dashiell. It’s scary to think that would all be disrupted and we’d be starting the entire process over again. Plus 100LC is on the cusp of really taking off and I’m finally figuring out how to get work done. Adding another tiny baby into that equation is a little overwhelming too.

Oh and there’s the house situation. If we have another babe, we’ll have to move. Either that or remodel, but remodeling would be a challenge since we don’t actually own our house. Sure we could manage for a few months, but we’re already splitting the seams of our little home so baby #2 will mean something definitely has to change.

But is there ever a right time? Will we ever be like, oh NOW is the time. Now we’re 100% ready to have another baby. Maybe eventually. But I might be 47 by then and me thinks that would be a little on the late side.

Plus if our first baby is this adorable, imagine what it would be like to have two little faces to snuggle every morning.

Any of you pondering number two? Have number two on the way? I know it’s a majorly personal decision, but I’m just curious how those conversations went down.

labels: musings, our family 43 comments

For japan with love

For Japan with Love.

labels: musings 1 comment

On losing the prego weight

Because I’m spending this week in my swim suit on the beach (ack!), I thought I’d do a little post on the dreaded post-pregnancy weight loss. Mostly just to give the rest of you who are still struggling with it a little moral support. It can be rough on the old ego, that’s for sure.

So before and even shortly after Dashiell was born, I was just CERTAIN that I’d be back to my normal size four months after he was born. Pre-pregnancy I wore a size 4 dress. So in planning for my bridesmaid dress last June (4 months postpartum), I figured I’d be easily into a size 6. After all, I like to exercise, and I’d be deep in breastfeeding! Yes! Breastfeeding! The miracle weight loss tactic!

(What I’d love to be wearing this spring, now that I’m almost back to normal and can begin to dream that I might wear fashionable clothes again. Vanessa Jackman, via Pretty Mommy)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I’m convinced they tell you that breastfeeding helps you lose weight as part of secret plan to get more women to breastfeed. Which btw, I’m completely fine with. But magic cure-all for the extra LBs I was toting around – um, no. For that wedding I had to order a size 10 dress. It sucked. Not because of the size itself so much. More because of how many sizes UP it was from what I considered my “normal” size to be.

At 6 months we went on family vaycay to Yosemite, and looking at pictures when we got home was yet another depressing moment. I was still hideously fat (IMO). I gave up Stacy’s pita chips, which I think helped a little. But I also just tried to remind myself that it took me 10 months to gain 28 pounds and it would probably take about that long to lose them all again.

At 8 months, same. To be fair I wasn’t actively trying to lose weight. I was running a few days a week. Maybe going to a core class twice a month. Mostly just doing what moms do: hanging with their baby, trying to keep the house from looking like a hovel, and fitting in work here and there. And I kept telling myself that it wasn’t my job to be skinny! It was my job to take care of my baby and finally start to catch up on 6 months without sleep. In fact I looked at skinny people and thought, god, they have nothing better to do than fit into their skinny jeans! HOW SELFISH AND SHALLOW. (We tell ourselves what we can to get by, you know?)

By 9 months Dashiell was eating more food and nursing less and things actually started to change. My postpartum clothes were finally too big. My pre-baby clothes started to almost fit again. By 10 months I was feeling pretty good actually. And now, exactly one year later I’m miraculously and by no real effort on my part, 5 pounds under my pre-prego weight.

So the moral? Give yourself a break. If you’re not a Hollywood personality with a celebrity trainer and nutritionist, and especially if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, it’s going to take some time to get back to your old bod. Your body might insist on hanging on to the extra 5 pounds because it needs insurance while you continue to nurse full time. And even when you hit the number you’re looking for, your body is just going to be different. But remember to celebrate that! It was you baby’s home for almost 10 months, it supported him/her through the first year of life, and it’s a pretty amazing little temple when you think about it like that.

And while I wouldn’t recommend intermittent exercise and little attention to calorie intake as a reliable weight loss plan, it eventually worked for me. But it took 12 f-ing months. Most importantly, the entire experience has given me such a better perspective on food and exercise and just generally being more conscious of what’s important in my life right now. ie. NOT my jeans size.

So you pretty ladies out there who’ve recently had babies, set reasonable expectations for yourself! My friend Becca wrote a great, very real post about this same thing. Growing and birthing and raising a child takes a toll on your body, and in time you’ll be able to focus on yourself again.

At least a little. Maybe.

In the meantime, treat yourself to a cookie after you put the baby to bed. And if you have to choose between getting an extra hour of sleep and going on a run, sometimes the extra sleep for you is going to be far more beneficial to the entire family than burning a few hundred calories.

I still want to give away all of my clothes btw. Even though I fit into them, I do not want to wear them. I am a different person, after all! I am satisfying myself with online window shopping and reckless cart abandonment for now. You know what I’m saying.

labels: musings, with child 40 comments

be back shortly

All of a sudden I have all sorts of work + the impending launch of 100LC. I know you don’t believe me at this point since we’ve been talking about launching our new site for months, but it really is getting closer. And I’m really focused on that and these other projects at the moment. Which means if I was to attempt posting every day, the posts wouldn’t be particularly inspired. Can you give me a few days to get things in order? When the holiday projects start, I promise I’ll have lots of pretty things to post.

For now, how about a slightly out of focus picture of my baby?

I kind of like it anyway. The light has been so beautiful in the evenings. I shall return when I have a moment.

labels: musings 12 comments